This very touching posting was submitted to this blog on the day before Christmas, 2011 by a friend and medical sonographer Mike Stack (he has done ultrasound exams for thousands of pregnant women). At that time I replied to Mike that the topic of abortion was too politically charged for this particular blog, which is trying to present the real life stories of Christians to web surfers who are curious about us Christians, and want to see what makes us tick without feeling hit over the head with salesmanship or rhetoric, even if the writer was not intending to hit anyone over the head. Mike explained that he was not trying to push his ideas on anyone, but he did want the freedom to be able to explain his true thoughts and feelings in an unfiltered way.
It's been half a year and I've softened on the idea of including this posting here, and have decided to print it as is. If you're a staunch pro-abortionist, you can just not read it. I think the value of it for curious web-surfers is to see the emotions and motivations that underlie a pro-lifer's strong position. You want to know what makes us tick? Here's what makes Mike tick (when it comes to the pro-life topic). One thing that can make this entry more understandable is to know that Mike and virtually all pro-lifers start from the following position:
1. That a fetus is a living human, not just a but of flesh within a woman.
2. That God is reaL, and that He also sees a fetus as a living human.
If you can imagine yourself standing in that same position, and stay in that position for the 4 minutes it takes to read this, then you'll feel what Mike feels.
"A voice is heard in Ramah,
weeping and great mourning,
Rachel weeping for her children
and refusing to be comforted,
because they are no more." (Jer 31:15)
A little piece of my heart
A little piece of my heart is wounded each time we are unable to help a woman turn from her plan to abort the tiny human life within her womb. As an Ultrasound Technician for the past 35 years, I have had the honor of witnessing the work of the Lord, in the womb. "I knit you together in your Mother's womb..." Psalm 139:13. I have seen and documented the development of tiny humans as they progress through different stages of their lives. "You were made in My image" Genesis 1:27 "You are fearfully and wonderfully made" Psalms 139:14. "Even the very hairs on your head are numbered" Matthew 10:29-31. I have watched the children jump and stretch, stick their tongues out, yawn, suck their thumb, show me if they're a boy or girl, listen their heart beat, measure their bones and waist size. I have been privileged to watch their growth through the various stages of human development and share that view with their parents and our Creator. I can't help but be attached to them, because I know them; I have seen and heard them. I have watched them play.
Many Post Abortion women have commented that a piece of their heart died with their aborted child, just like any parent that looses a child. It doesn't matter what stage of development. What matters is that those that have lost a child have a deep grief. Grief that is made worse when it is a secret, when there is no support for your grieving, no memorial, no family gathering. It's as if the child never existed. The survivors of the abortion try to go on with their lives as if this child did not exist. For many women and men this causes a festering wound that must be kept secret, the pain denied, until they are desperate enoughto seek healing.
I found myself in a similar, secret (hidden) grieving place and didn't know where to turn for help.
I am certainly moved by both the joy and the sorrow of the outcome following the Ultrasound at the Crisis Pregnancy where I volunteer. The Joy part is great. When we save a little one I'm reminded of the parable of the good Shepard, how our Father values each and every one of us (especially the lost ones). When we lose one of these little ones it is hard to express the depth of my grief. These children touch my heart as I view them on the Ultrasound screen. A little piece of my heart dies each time we are unable to help the mother see her way to giving birth.
I found the place to turn to when I attended a Post-abortion recovery weekend retreat (Rachael's Vineyard). To my surprise the grief I had been carrying came forth in uncontrolled, sobbing tears. I was grieving the loss of so many children I had come to know. I knew the torment that they went through and I knew of the pain that their parents were dealing with. With the other participants I went through the grieving and recovery process. Representing the children who I grieve, I picked names for them and memorialized their brief life on earth. I received a certificate of Life for Tanisha, Jawan, Bridget, Lawanda, Keesha, Brendan, Anton, Thomas, Joseph and Andrew. I entrust these children to the creator of life, recognizing the dignity and gift of each and every one of them.
I join the voices of those that are Silent No More.
Mike Stack MEV